How To Spot And Escape An Energy Vampire


Energy vampires are self-centered and manipulative people that leave you feeling drained after engaging with them. You may find that most of your interactions with them are centered around their needs, with very little regard for what you yourself may be struggling with at any given time. When an energy vampire has a problem, they demand you bring your world to a complete stop to hear them out and provide them with emotional support. However, when you try to vent to them, you may look over and find them tuning you out as they scroll through Instagram. This is mostly attributed to their inability to emphasize with others, as their problems are the only problems that matter!

Also note that these people are needy and self-pitying and will use these qualities to emotionally manipulate you. Everything that happens to them is no fault of their own and they are ALWAYS the victim. They feel immune to any consequence and rules simply don’t apply them so expect to get kicked to the curb if you offer a dissenting opinion or encourage them to take any accountability for their actions. Energy vampires feed off of your willingness to constantly coddle and assure them that they are ALWAYS right. Keep in mind that they have no intention of reciprocating that same support to you, unless it’s for opportunistic reasons. Energy vampires will do nice things for you on occasion, but only to strengthen their connection to you, thus making you feel more obligated to show them care.

By telling these people exactly what they want to hear, you’re serving as an enabler to this person. Even if your intentions are good, you are merely an extension of their ever-growing ego and may be unknowingly supporting their harm against other people. Energy vampires don’t want real advice. They are deeply insecure people who are playing the role of someone who is highly confident.


-Only talks about themselves

-Constantly berating you with complaints about their lives and the people in it

-Leech-like, co-dependent behavior

-You feel mentally/physically exhausted after interacting with them, even for a short period

-Constantly seeking comfort/validation from others

-The relationship is one-sided, only benefiting them

-Push through boundaries you put in place, such as requests for space, alone time

-Entitlement to you time, money, resources and energy

-Surface level-personality, very fixated on looks, status and other social optics


Set Limits. The energy vampire’s reaction to you setting boundaries will tell you whether or not you can move forward with the relationship. Most will totally spazz and make drastic attempts to gain access to you, whether it be in person, via phone call or text or even on social media. If you feel that you slowly distancing yourself from this individual is more for you, setting limits on your interactions is a good place to start. This can look like taking up less time with them or solely hanging out with them in group settings.

Listen. Don’t talk. This will surely send an energy vampire packing and on the hunt for their next energy supply. After all, if you’re not boosting their ego or coddling them, what use do they have for you?

Don’t fall for the guilt trips. These people will literally use anything and anybody to generate enough empathy for you to engage with them. This isn’t hard for them because they are the victim in every situation remember? They feel that if they can convince you to pity them in some way then soon you will grant them access to you again. I cannot stress just how needy an energy vampire can be.


In the days and weeks after cutting ties with an energy vampire, you may find that you feel… well… “lighter”. Your time is back to being filled with things you enjoy, not just things that were pleasing to the energy vampire. You are no longer carrying the burdens of two people and can finally shift the focus back on the things and the people that matter to you. You see now that healthy relationships consist of a mutual exchange of positive energy, as well as genuine love and support. You are free.